Sunday, November 1, 2009

My Online Dating Saga - Opening Line Don'ts

I've been doing the online dating thing for awhile, and though I've met some interesting guys, I've had much better luck with getting writing material than with the actual dating part.

There are some common-sense unwritten rules that many would-be daters don't seem to grasp. Here are some pointers for the marginally, and not-so-marginally, clueless:

Chances are, you won't get much of a response if you email a potential date with these opening lines:

"Nice rack. Want to chat?"

"Yummy." How do you really respond to that? "Thanks?"

"I'm looking for someone to f*ck. Could it be you?" Subtlety isn't exactly your strong suit, is it?

"I'd love to twist you around like a pretzel." I'm not even sure what that means, unless the guy has a fetish for contortionists. Sounds more painful than erotic.

"I'm looking for an angel like you to make peace my lonely nights." Okay, obviously English isn't his first language, but still pretty hokey. And obviously a mass email that he sent to probably 50 women, hoping to hit the jackpot.

One guy just IM'd me with a photo of his dick (iphones do come in handy, don't they?). A dick-and-run, as it were.

More to come....

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