Friday, November 20, 2009

My Online Dating Saga - Mr. Clusterf*ck

I've never been particularly good at multitask dating myself. Not that I wouldn't message more than one person at a time, or arrange to meet more than one guy a week, but two at a time is my limit (probably not in the same night). The difference between me and the guy who pretty much stood me up twice - let's call him Mr. Clusterf*ck - is that I am aware of my limitations, and would not attempt to juggle so many potential dates simultaneously as to end up dropping balls.

Mr. Clusterf*ck apparently has no such self-awareness. We had plans to meet several months ago, at a place that necessitated my waiting for a bus in the rain, and he didn't show. After I had blow-dried my socks, I sent him a message to the effect that if he had been run over by an SUV or held hostage at gunpoint by a recent Harvard grad overwhelmed by student loan payments, he had my sympathies, but if that wasn't the case then he was incredibly rude.

I didn't get a response for several days, which wasn't particularly a surprise, but then he sent me a message telling me that he had a family emergency out of town and, amazingly enough, his computer was simultaneously malfunctioning. All that was missing were a dying grandmother, a broken-down car and a rabid dog.

I thought that was that until he called me on my cell, at a time when I was unable to talk. I called him back and left a message. Never heard back. Right after that his profile, the third he'd had in the few months since I'd joined, was deleted. Hmmm.

Last week, Mr. Clusterf*ck popped up again, sending me a message that he seemed to remember he owed me a beer. Ya think? Anyway, by this time I was kind of curious as to what the hell this guy was really like in person, and thought I'd give him the benefit of the doubt. I agreed to meet him. He suggested a day he was free. I sent him a message suggesting a specific time and place, and of course, I didn't hear back.

That is, until I checked my cell and found a message from him asking him to verify a time and place we hadn't discussed, on the day BEFORE we were supposed to tentatively meet. Apparently, he had confused me with someone else.

Good luck to her.

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