Occasionally, among the banal, I come across some genuinely funny and original stuff. Here is some more of the most notable:
"I love dogs, cats and children - they taste just like chicken."
One of the first things people notice about me: "My remarkable likeness to my picture at the post office."
"I am a practitioner of Karma Sutra II...." (otherwise known as Tantric Sex, the Sequel - I heard it was better than Rambo II)
"Let us form an orderly line, preferably three wide - blonds left, redheads center, brunettes right, and all others can simply intermingle."
"I am the meat-puppet of the God flute of the universe." Huh?
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