Post-Mother's Day Reflections - Top Ten Ways to Not Become My Mother

10. Have sex with younger men.

9.  Have sex.

8.  Never buy a plastic rain bonnet.

7.  Occasionally venture outside a 2-mile radius of my house.

6.  Never use the phrase, "in my day...."

5.  Refrain from wearing clothing that covers every part of my body that looks imperfect.

4.  Don't buy generic ice cream.

3.  Wear underwear that couldn't ever be used as an Ace bandage.

2.  Don't buy a cabinet and keep figurines of cute animals in it.

1.  Never say to a friend in a restaurant, "I can't eat anything on the menu, but it's okay - I'll eat when I get home."