THINGS NOT TO SAY AT WORK

"Man, did I get wasted last night. I jumped on the bar and danced in my jockstrap. Wanna see the pictures?"

"The CEO is so hot. I'd love to hit that, wouldn't you?"

"I just took this job cause my trust fund dried up."

"Wouldn't it be funny if I sprinkled some pot into the coffeemaker?"

"Hey, Jin got a raise. No fair! I bet it's because he's Asian."

"The boss is out today. Want to sneak out the side door an hour early?"

"Yeah, I always take the credit for Katie's ideas. She's banging the director, so what can she say?"

"I always delete my online history so the MIS guy can't tell I look at porn sites all day."

"Good, another meeting. I could use a nap."

"It's 4:59. I'm outta here!"