Obama, have you reached a verdict?

So Obama was called for jury duty in his former home city of Chicago. Oops. Guess what? He moved.

We can only hope that generating and sending out these notices is automated, and no actual humans are involved. Otherwise, I think we're all in trouble. Next they'll be calling Georgie B. to help decide the fate of some poor shmuck on trial for trying to rob a convenience store with a toy gun. After all, he did so well making important decisions before, didn't he?! How scary would it be to look over at the jurors and see Bushie sitting there with his finger in his ear?

You never hear of A-list actors doing jury duty. I guess if you have to be charged with a crime, there are worse things than staring at George Clooney in the jury box all day. Plus you could pretend you were actually in a movie and not on trial with the possibility of going to a real prison and having to go to the bathroom in public. Not to mention having to eat really bad food. I don't know from experience, but I wouldn't imagine prisons get their supplies from Whole Foods.

My Online Dating Saga - and speaking of full disclosure...

...there was the guy who confessed in his profile that he was a recovering drug addict who had robbed a bank and spent 4 years in prison, and been divorced several times. I think he was going for the world record for how many red flags one guy could wave. He also appeared to be addicted to exclamation points, as he used them at the end (and occasionally the middle) of every sentence. Although you gotta give the guy credit for honesty, I'll be moving on, thanks.

I wonder how many responses he got. After all, Ted Bundy (serial killer of young women, in case you're not familiar) had women proposing to him in letters they sent to him on death row. Maybe Prison Guy has the right idea....

My Online Dating Saga - Freak Me Out

My scariest date was with a guy with whom I shared something pretty rare in my online dating experience - mutual chemistry. We met for coffee and seemed to really be connecting. As I was reluctant to suggest dinner at a restaurant because my budget was tight that week, we ended up back at my place for some leftovers.

I heard him make a phone call when I was in the kitchen, but didn't think much of it, until we were making out a bit in the living room. Apparently wanting to lay it all out there, he stopped kissing my neck to tell me that the call he made was to his parole officer. He then proceeded to tell me that he'd just spent a year and a half in prison because he'd tried to strangle his girlfriend. He didn't actually say the words, "I tried to strangle my girlfriend," but that was the inevitable interpretation of a lot of hemming and hawing about a volatile relationship, a fight, and his hands somehow ending up around her neck.

He hastened to assure me that he had had anger management training and that he understood if I wanted to think about whether or not I wanted to see him again. He was sweet about it, actually, and I didn't feel at all threatened by him, but nevertheless I politely saw him out and, I admit, locked the door a bit more hastily than usual.